Saturday, April 11, 2015

Lard Lad DOH!-nuts (The Simpsons)

Here's the recipe for those iconic, pink-frosted donuts
we've all seen on "The Simpsons".
Now you can make them in your very own home
and see why Homer is so addicted to them!


Lard Lad DOH!-nuts
*makes 24 standard-size donuts, plus 2 dozen donut holes

Dough Ingredients:

6 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/3 cup all-vegetable shortening
1 1/2 cups whole milk, warmed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup warm water
2 (1/4 oz) packets instant yeast (=4 1/2 teaspoons)
1 teaspoon sugar
2 whole eggs
1/4 cup sugar
more flour, for dusting
vegetable oil, for frying
parchment paper



Pour flour, salt and cinnamon into large bowl. Whisk gently to combine. Set aside.


Place shortening in bowl. Heat milk in microwave for 1 1/2 minutes (or heat on stovetop). Pour over shortening and whisk until broken up and shortening has completely melted. Set aside.

BOWL 3 (the main mixing bowl):

Pour the warm water (110 degrees F) into this bowl. Sprinkle both packets of yeast on top. Now sprinkle the teaspoon of sugar over the yeast. Let sit for 5 minutes to proof.

After 5 minutes, pour in the milk/shortening mixture from BOWL 2. Add in the eggs and the rest of the sugar. Mix on low with electric mixer. Add in half of the flour mixture from BOWL 1 and mix on medium. Finally, add in the rest of the flour and mix on low for 1 minute. Switch it to medium and mix for 3-4 minutes.

The dough should be thick and come away from the sides. Cover the bowl with a plate and let sit for 1 hour to rise and double in size.

While waiting for the dough to rise, cut out 4x4" squares of parchment paper. Watch the video at the top of this post to see how this is done.

After 1 hour, the dough should have doubled. Dump it out onto a flour-dusted counter or table. Knead for 2 minutes, coating with flour until no longer tacky. Cut in half (we'll only be working with 1 half at a time).

Roll out half the dough until it is 1/2" thick. Using a 3" cookie or biscuit cutter, cut out circles of dough. To cut the center holes, use a 1" round cookie cutter or a small, clean/new medicine cup. Place the cut donuts onto the squares of parchment paper.

Heat 2" of oil in a Dutch oven or large pot to 365 degrees F. (Test the oil by dropping one of your donut holes into it. If it begins to sizzle, then it's ready.) Place one of the donuts face down into the hot oil with parchment paper (watch the above video to see how this is done). Within a few seconds you should be able to pull the paper off the donut with a pair of tongs. Discard the paper into an empty saucepan.

Let the donut fry until golden brown. WARNING! Do not walk away from the stove, the donuts turn this color in less than a minute. Using a pair of tongs or slotted spoon, flip the donut and let the other side brown. Remove from oil and let drain on a paper towel-lined plate. Transfer over to a cooling rack. Repeat these steps for the rest of the donuts and donut holes.

Let cool on racks for 10-15 minutes.

Frosting Ingredients:

1 (15-16 oz) tub of ready-made frosting in hot pink (I used Pillsbury Funfetti)
1 (15-16 oz) tub of ready-made vanilla frosting colored pink with gel food colors
rainbow sprinkles


Remove lid and foil seal of icing tub. Place the entire tub into microwave and cook for 45 seconds, or until it is a liquid consistency.

Carefully spoon the frosting over the tops of the cooled donuts. Allow it to run down the sides as shown in the video. 

Top with the rainbow sprinkles and give the donuts about 15 minutes to let the frosting set.

Serve with a tall glass of milk (or Duff Beer). :D

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